A Guide to Start Your Sub Journey as a Novice Submissive - Oxy-shop

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05-15-2023 - Written by Jett Oxy - Follow on medium 


NOVICE SUBMISSIVES/HOW TO START YOUR SUB JOURNEY

Entering the world of BDSM as a novice submissive can be an exciting but daunting journey. It requires a significant amount of self-exploration, research, and understanding of your own desires and limits.

 

This article will serve as a  guide to help you navigate the initial steps of your sub journey and assist you in creating a safe and fulfilling BDSM experience.


Novice Submissives/How to Start Your Sub Journey

HOW TO START YOUR SUB JOURNEY


Take a look at a few steps that will give you a solid foundation in your journey as a submissive;


1. UNDERSTAND YOUR LIMITS


Before beginning your sub journey, it's essential to understand and establish your limits. These can be physical, emotional, or psychological boundaries that you don't want to cross. They could also be divided into hard limits and soft limits. It is essential to be clear and open about your limits with your potential Dom or partner. Also, never let anyone pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with.


2. DO YOUR RESEARCH


Educating yourself is a crucial part of your sub journey. Read up on BDSM terminology and concepts. Take the time to research different BDSM activities, such as impact play, bondage, and sensory play. Joining online forums and communities can be an excellent way to connect with others and learn more about BDSM.


3. Seek Out a Mentor


It's always a good idea to seek out a mentor or friend who has enough experience in BDSM. They can provide valuable guidance and advice, helping you navigate the complex dynamics of the BDSM community. They could also help you learn about different BDSM sex toys and equipment, as well as provide you with a safe space to explore your desires.


4. CREATE A CHECKLIST


Creating a checklist is an effective way to ensure your experience is fulfilling and safe. The checklist should contain a list of activities, such as bondage or impact play, along with any limits you have set for each activity. Additionally, include a section for any medical or psychological conditions you may have, which can impact your BDSM experience.


5. FIND A COMPATIBLE PARTNER


You sure didn't get all of the above ready to be a submissive to yourself. You need to find a compatible partner or Dom for your BDSM experience to be complete. Look for a partner who is respectful, trustworthy, and experienced in BDSM. It's essential to take the time to get to know your potential partner before engaging in any BDSM activities. Trust is the foundation of any BDSM relationship, so make sure you feel comfortable with them before beginning your sub journey.


6. COMMUNICATE OPENLY


Effective communication is vital to any BDSM experience. Be open and honest with your partner about your desires, boundaries, and limits. Make sure to discuss any potential triggers or emotional reactions you may have during a BDSM session. Clear and open communication helps establish trust and creates a more fulfilling BDSM experience.


7. TAKE IT SLOW


It's important to take things slow when starting your sub journey. Begin with simple activities, such as sensory play or light bondage, before moving on to more intense BDSM activities. Additionally, never feel pressured to move forward with an activity or session that you're not comfortable with.


8. AFTERCARE


Aftercare is a crucial part of any BDSM experience. It's essential to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally after a session. Aftercare can involve simple things, such as cuddling or providing your partner with water or food. Additionally, take the time to reflect on your experience and how it made you feel.


9. CONTINUOUSLY EDUCATE YOURSELF


BDSM is a complex and ever-evolving community. Continuously educating yourself on the latest BDSM concepts and ideas is crucial to your sub journey. Attend workshops, events, and seminars to learn from experienced members of the community. Additionally, join online forums or communities to connect with others and gain new perspectives.



Kosta on Quora dishes out some pieces of advice to novice submissives;

 

"...Understand the meaning of Your Kink Is Not My Kink (YKINMK) and how important it is. Being kinky and involved in BDSM means you’re going to encounter things that people are doing that while safe and consensual, are not for you. Learn to walk away from things that bother you and don’t judge other people. Remember, something that you’re into also bugs other people as well. Doesn’t mean you have to watch it or be involved in it, but don’t judge and don’t make comments on it…"

 

Deleted on Reddit also speaks on what to put in mind as you start your sub journey;

 

"...The biggest one I have is don’t let some guy or girl who is just a dick try to say they are a Dominant and that therefore you MUST follow everything they say to do even if it is a hard limit for you. When I was way younger I thought that’s what a D/s relationship had to be and my needs were ignored a lot. It was a great learning experience though in what not to do, but unfortunately was learned the hard way lol…"


FAQS


● HOW CAN I FIND A COMPATIBLE DOM AS A NEW SUBMISSIVE?


Finding a Dom is easy. You can easily go to a munch party and announce your need for one. However, finding a compatible Dom will need you to understand yourself and what kinks you're willing to explore. You'd also need an ability to set and maintain boundaries.


● IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE DOMINANT PARTNER?


Yes, it is possible. Some people have three to five partners that they are submissive too. However, for a novice, we recommend starting with just one partner.



CONCLUSION


Starting your sub journey can be a fulfilling and exciting experience. However, it's important to approach it with caution and an open mind. By following the tips above, you can create a safe and fulfilling BDSM experience that leaves you feeling empowered and satisfied.

 

Article Written by Jett Oxy for oxy-shop.com. 

Jett is the owner of Oxy-shop.com, a BDSM insider, a sex educator and writer. 

"I always try to explore the confines of the BDSM world and bring valuable insights for new comers joining our adventure" 

Phd in related field, father and business owner, Jett Oxy brings you stories and advices  for educational and entertainment purposes. 


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