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04-24-2023 - Written by Jett Oxy - Follow on medium 


UNWRITTEN RULES ON HOW TO BE A GOOD SUBMISSIVE & KEYHOLDER

Being a good submissive or keyholder goes deeper than just following orders or holding the keys to someone's chastity device. 


It's about establishing trust, communication, and mutual respect. There are many unwritten rules that can guide you on your journey to being a good submissive or keyholder, and in this article, we will explore some of them.


How to Make a Great Submissive and Keyholder

WHO IS A KEYHOLDER IN A BDSM RELATIONSHIP?


A Keyholder is the individual who holds the key to a chastity device. The keyholder is often the dominant person in a BDSM relationship.

 

Keyholders can be of any gender or sexuality, but they are mostly heterosexual women who hold the keys to a male chastity device. The term keyholder is often shortened to the acronym KH.


UNWRITTEN RULES ON HOW TO BE A GOOD SUBMISSIVE & KEYHOLDER


Take a look at some unwritten rules that would mould you into a great submissive and keyholder;


RULE 1: HONESTY IS KEY


One of the most important unwritten rules of being a good submissive or keyholder is honesty. Both parties should be honest about their desires, limits, and expectations. As a submissive, it's important to be honest about what you want and don't want, as well as any physical or emotional boundaries. As a keyholder, you need to be honest about your expectations and what you're comfortable with.


Rule 2: Communication is Essential


Effective communication is essential in any BDSM relationship. Both parties should feel comfortable expressing their needs, desires, and concerns. Submissives should feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings, and keyholders should be attentive and receptive to their needs. A keyholder should communicate any changes in plans or expectations. It is also important to have regular check-ins to ensure that both parties are satisfied with the dynamics of the relationship.


RULE 1: HONESTY IS KEY


One of the most important unwritten rules of being a good submissive or keyholder is honesty. Both parties should be honest about their desires, limits, and expectations. As a submissive, it's important to be honest about what you want and don't want, as well as any physical or emotional boundaries. As a keyholder, you need to be honest about your expectations and what you're comfortable with.


Rule 3: Trust is Paramount


The place of trust in any BDSM relationship can never be over-emphasized. As a submissive, it's important to trust that your keyholder has your best interests at heart and will respect your limits. As a keyholder, it's important to trust that your submissive will be honest and respect your rules.


Rule 4: Respect is Key


Respect is essential in any relationship, and a BDSM relationship is no exception. As a keyholder, don't push your submissive's beyond their hard limits. As a submissive, you must be honest and upfront about what they can and cannot handle. If either party feels uncomfortable or unsafe, they should speak up and the session should be stopped immediately. This is where safe words come to play. The keyholder must always remember that they are responsible for the safety and well-being of their submissive.


Rule 5: Patience is a Virtue


Both parties in a BDSM relationship must be patient as they explore new experiences and develop their relationship dynamic. As a submissive, it is important to be patient as you learn your keyholder's preferences and adjust to their rules. As a keyholder, you should also be patient as your submissive grows and learns.


Rule 6: Consent is Mandatory


Both keyholder and submissive should be clear on what is and isn't acceptable behaviour. Submissives must give the keyholder explicit consent before engaging in any activity. As a keyholder, it's important to ensure that your submissive is giving their full consent to lock them in a chastity device and is comfortable with the activity.


Rule 7: Safety is Essential


This is always essential when speaking about BDSM relationships. Both parties must be aware of the risks associated with certain activities and take steps to minimise those risks. As a submissive, it's important to inform your keyholder of any physical or emotional issues that may impact your safety. As a keyholder, it's important to take steps to ensure that your submissive is safe during any activities.


Rule 8: Obedience is Critical


Obedience is an essential component of any BDSM relationship. As a submissive, it's important to follow your keyholder's rules and directions. As a keyholder, it's important to establish clear rules and expectations and ensure that your submissive follows them.


Rule 9: Experimentation is Encouraged


BDSM relationships are a journey of exploration and experimentation. Both parties should be willing to try new things and explore their boundaries. As a submissive, it's important to be open to trying new experiences and expanding your limits. As a keyholder, it's important to be open to new ideas and to encourage your submissive to explore their boundaries.


Rule 10: Consistency is Key


Consistency is crucial in any BDSM relationship. Both keyholder and submissive should be consistent in their BDSM play. It'd help to increase the bond between both parties.


Rule 11: Embrace Vulnerability


Being a good submissive or keyholder requires a willingness to be vulnerable with each other. Submissives must be willing to trust their keyholders with their bodies and minds, and keyholders must be willing to take on the responsibility of caring for their submissives. Both parties must be willing to let their guard down and be honest with each other, even when it's difficult. This vulnerability can create a deep sense of intimacy and trust between the two parties, leading to a more fulfilling and enjoyable dynamic.


Flee_market on Reddit speaks on the keyholder/submissive relationship;

 

"The keyholder/locked person dynamic can vary greatly depending on the people involved. It's different for every instance. In some cases it might just be a friend holding the keys for a couple days, in other cases it could be two people in a committed relationship and the keyholder has complete say over when the unlockings occur, if at all."


FAQS


● What are the Benefits of Being a Keyholder in a BDSM Relationship?


The benefits of being a keyholder are a lot. But nothing tops your partner being more attentive to your needs. It also means your submissive's penis becomes yours. Depending on how far you want to take things, you may decide to feminise, cuckold or place them in bondage.


● Is it Everyone Locked up in Chastity that is A Submissive?


Being locked doesn't automatically mean one is a submissive, though most people locked in chastity are submissive partners. There are vanilla people as well as even dominant people who sometimes lock up for whatever reason. It's not automatically an expression of submission.



CONCLUSION


Being a good submissive or keyholder requires some level of intentionality by both parties to put in the work to make each other comfortable in the relationship. Following these simple, unwritten rules and taking the time to establish a healthy dynamic will ensure that both submissives and keyholders can enjoy a fulfilling BDSM relationship.


Article Written by Jett Oxy for oxy-shop.com. 

Jett is the owner of Oxy-shop.com, a BDSM insider, a sex educator and writer. 

"I always try to explore the confines of the BDSM world and bring valuable insights for new comers joining our adventure" 

Phd in related field, father and business owner, Jett Oxy brings you stories and advices  for educational and entertainment purposes. 


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