THE EMOTIONAL SIDE OF SUB DROP AND WHY

Sub drop is the way the body responds to the sudden drop of hormones in the body after an intense BDSM session that leaves the body flooded with endorphins.

Some people have years of experience of intense BDSM play sessions without ever going through sub drops. Then, out of nowhere, it happens.

Since people have different bodies, a sub drop may look and feel different for every person who experiences it, ranging from mild to extreme symptoms. It can be in the form of  physical pain, extreme depression, irritability, anxiety, and fatigue.

While some of these symptoms are not unusual after a session, (especially pain and fatigue), sub drop is the manifestation of these emotions at great level.

It could feel like a massive decline in your mental health.

A sub-drop happens between BDSM partners while a Con-Drop occurs after a convention. A ‘Con Drop’ is one in which participants feel burned out and irritable in the hours or days following a BDSM convention or play party.

Casual BDSM engagements may include one-time scenes at dungeons or parties.

People in casual play relationships do not really experience sub drop as much as those in committed relationships. Here are some of the reasons:

• Committed relationships often have an element of intimacy and vulnerability that is absent in casual relationships. This element of intimacy may cause emotional insecurities after a hot BDSM session. The submissive may begin to question the validity of intimacy.
• Another reason sub drop occurs more in committed relationships is that the couple can negotiate the limits established early and can be tested and pushed a little. The play could be edgier and more intense in these situations. Casual relationships tend not to be able to develop enough trust and history to test and push boundaries as easily. For those new to BDSM, here is all you need to know about BDSM to get started.

What causes sub drops is that endorphins and other hormones like adrenaline and oxytocin, released during a BDSM session, leave your body. The time it takes for these hormones to  rebuild up to the normal balance of hormones in your system is when sub drop creeps in.

The hormones that tend to be involved before and during the Sub Drop are:

• Endorphins & Enkephalins: The body releases these to reduce pain while causing euphoria.
• Epinephrine: Also known as Adrenaline, this is a bodily response to stress and danger. To your primal brain, the pain being inflicted during a BDSM session is similar to a dog attack and it responds in a way that it deems fit.
• Dopamine: This is the pleasure hormone that the brain produces when it expects a reward, in this case, sexual climax. Some people experience a dopamine rush from pain, which is why BDSM works for some, but not all, people.

So while you wait for these hormones to rebuild, what do you do to make you feel better? Simple. The subdrop aftercare. Read on to find out what this is.

The same way BDSM boundaries and safe words need to be established between partners before engaging in any BDSM activity, so does a framework of aftercare activities.

The sub drop aftercare consists of activities that are geared towards the needs of the submissive partner after a BDSM session. They are a group of activities that help a submissive partner who is experiencing sub drop recover quickly.

Neemii on Reddit gives examples of sub drop aftercare activities;

• Verbal affirmations and praise
• Doing an activity together - anything you both enjoy. Video games, watching a movie, going for a walk, all good options.
• Self soothing - reminding yourself you are able to love and take care of yourself, giving yourself affirmations, giving yourself a treat (food, activity, other, anything you enjoy doing on your own).
  

As a Dom, if your partner seems distant or irritable in the hours or days after an intense BDSM play session, check out a few ways to handle it:

• Put in mind that whatever they are feeling is temporary and short-term. This would help you relate with them more patiently.

• Some subs have an aftercare kit filled with items like sugary snacks, scented candles, a pair of fuzzy socks and every other item that helps them remain calm and feel better. Ensure you make their sub drop aftercare kit available to them.

• You can either stay with them, be around them, or totally ignore them. Some Subs usually require extra attention and affection during a sub drop, while others will prefer to be left alone to deal with their emotions themselves. Others will want the presence of a person without any engagement. They just want to share the same space with you without speaking. The point is you should act in accordance to whatever your sub prefers. If you're looking to improve your skills as a Dom, here are some ideas to make your slave feel owned.

N.B: The sub partner going through the Sub Drop always always gets to choose the manner of after care activities they'd like and then communicate them to the Dom.

Jessica L Tucker on Quora speaks on sub-drop aftercare;

Aftercare can take just as long as the actual BDSM activities, but sometimes it can last even longer. It's not uncommon to enlist a friend from the BDSM community or to hire a professional to be a caregiver to members of a scene.

Though it doesn't have the same sexy energy as the actual play, aftercare is just as important to the BDSM experience. If you plan to dabble in this sort of erotica, don't think that you can breeze past this essential step. Remember, pain and pleasure are more satisfying with a little pampering thrown into the mix.

HOW LONG DOES A SUB DROP LAST?

People's bodies vary. A sub drop, although temporary, can last from a couple of hours and may span to days and weeks. It all depends on the body of the individual.

CAN A DOMINANT PARTNER EXPERIENCE A DROP?

Known as dom-drop or top-drop, the dominant partner in a BDSM relationship may also experience a feeling of sadness and irritability after a BDSM session. If you're interested in learning more about the dominant side of BDSM, exploring male submissiveness can provide some interesting insights into the dynamics of BDSM relationships.

You do not have to allow sub drops to interfere with your BDSM play. Its effects are not even usually long-term. Plus, they are preventable and treatable. The intense negative emotions accompanying a sub drop can come down  with proper aftercare activities and communication. Good luck and Enjoy!