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01-24-2023 - Written by Jett Oxy - Follow on medium 


WHAT A DOM MEANS WHEN THEY SAY, “YOU NEED TRAINING”


Everyone who gets into a proper relationship wants to learn different facts about their partners to help them love their partners better. In the same vein, BDSM partners try to learn about each other for a smooth relationship. When you enter into a BDSM relationship, there is every chance that you encounter the words ‘submissive training’. This is one aspect of BDSM that both beginner and experienced subs find confusing and should treat with caution. 


In fact, unless you are sure what your dom means by training, you should not get into such a relationship. This is because, depending on the situation, training could mean different things to a newbie and an expert sub. Whether you are a sub or dom, find out everything about training a submissive and how to train a sub by reading this article. 


BDSM Training - How to train a sub
BDSM Training submissive


WHAT IS TRAINING?


Submissive training, to a beginner sub means learning the mannerisms, behavior, attitude and activities that will please your dominant partner. Here, efforts are required from both partners. It can be scheduled and also happens in sessions. You should prepare your mind for some intense sessions where you practice what you have learnt. 


For an experienced sub, you need to understand that training never ends. It is in stages. Also, if you enter into a new relationship, you might need to unlearn some of the training you got in your previous relationship and adopt the mannerisms of your new dom partner.


Once you have undergone a particular level of training, you can be sure there will be more advanced levels to come. There would be higher levels and finally the anticipatory service where you do some final training before you finally meet your dom after going through different levels of training for a while. 


The meaning of training is dynamic. It is also not universal. Each relationship has its unique meaning of training. This is because every dominant has a preferred manner in which they want their subs to act. 


WHY YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT TRAINING BEFORE GETTING INTO A BDSM RELATIONSHIP


It is important to talk about training before getting involved in a BDSM relationship. I’d tell you why. This is because each person’s interpretation of training is different from the other. So whatever form of training you might have learnt from your past relationship might not be totally applicable to the new one. You will have to unlearn and relearn new mannerisms in your new relationship. 


Some dominants do not use the word training. Find out what they use instead and get enough information about what they mean. You must be consenting with their terms and meaning of training, else, it will be termed abuse. 


WHAT A DOM MEANS WHEN THEY SAY, ‘YOU NEED TRAINING’.


Worthy to note that you should get a clear meaning of what your dom means by training and what is expected of you as the sub. Training could mean something random and specific ranging from sexual to kinky or you getting a job at a coffee shop so you can make a good cup of coffee at home for your dom. 


HOW TO TRAIN A MALE SUBMISSIVE


Training a male to be a sub might be more challenging than training a female, reason not far-fetched from the fact that male subs are usually rare. Using conditioning techniques ensure that even the most macho male subs respond the way you want. Here are some few tips on how to successfully train your male sub partner:


  • Classical conditioning: Train him to react consistently to your commands and suggestions. An ideal way to do this is to use a particular sex toy frequently enough till it creates a desired sexual response. You could also do it in the form of a consistent command. When done correctly, the command stimulates your male sub each time you give it.
  • Operant conditioning: Giving punishment and rewards to your male sub during training also helps to maintain desired responses from your male sub and discourage unwanted behaviors. For example, the sub following your orders could attract a compliment, kiss, cuddles and massage while the sub disobeying could warrant punishments such as spanking and sexual deprivation. 
  • Extinction: Male subs tend to ask for attention by disobeying orders. If you ignore these unwanted behaviors, they would most likely stop and start following your orders.
  • Modeling: Training your male sub by showing him a step-by-step procedure on how you want him to do things would help in making him a great sub.
Same positions can be applied to male 

BDSM Submissive Training Positions


HOW TO PREPARE YOUR SUB PSYCHOLOGICALLY


A sub is not a doormat and should genuinely desire to be owned. Their feelings and wants are valid too so it is important to prepare them psychologically before any training session to shape their behavior. Check out a few tips to ensure your sub is psychologically prepared before the session:


  • Check on them to ensure they are both physically and mentally ready for the training session. If they are sick or going through something, you should end all activities.
  • Start with a sensual pre-training session ritual. This would help to set the tone and make your sub relaxed.
  • Communicate with your sub and establish safe words. 


FAQS


HOW TO BE A SUB?

You cannot learn how to be a sub. You can only learn how to be a particular person’s sub. The first thing to do as a sub is to learn about yourself. Know yourself. Know what exactly you want from a relationship before you search for a dominant partner that will fulfill them without making you compromise your desires. Training with some random dom will not satisfy you if you do not work on yourself and know yourself first.

DOES TRAINING A SUB TAKE TIME?

Establishing a great d/s relationship takes time. Do not force the dynamics of your relationship yet. Train your sub as slowly and gently as possible with positive remarks.


CONCLUSION


Before saying yes to being trained by anybody, understand what training means to you. Know your terms of training and make sure both of your ideas on training match. Your happiness and satisfaction is just as relevant. Good luck on your training journey.


Here are some humiliation gears you might want to check out for a submissive training session. Teach the sub how to stand still an dobby orders with those accessories:


SUBMISSIVE HUMILIATOR MUZZLE-GAG - SUPER SET


This unisex well-made gag can hold a variety of attachments which may be used to serve or please the master or the mistress. Just picture it: The Sub wearing the gag can be used as a coat hook, catch cigar ashes in an ashtray, hold a tray of refreshments, scrub leather boots, clean the toilet or even used as a urinal! 


BDSM Humiliator Gag
Submissive Humiliator Ashtray Gag
BDSM Toilet Paper Gag
BDSM Toilet Brush Gag


THE MOST VERSATILE BONDAGE KIT - HIGH QUALITY POLISHED STEEL


Multifunctional calfskin leather belts  can be used as hand cuffs, ankle cuffs or tight cuffs. Premium quality, robust and beautifully crafted. We have come up with elements to construct your perfect restraint set. Made out of Stainless Steel 316L - Medical grade - It is hand polished with premium smooth finish and a black layer coating. 


Steel Hogtie
BDSM Versatile Bondage Kit
Neck to Wrist Steel Bondage KIT
Versatile Bondage Kit

Article Written by Jett Oxy for oxy-shop.com. 

Jett is the owner of Oxy-shop.com, a BDSM insider, a sex educator and writer. 

"I always try to explore the confines of the BDSM world and bring valuable insights for new comers joining our adventure" 

Phd in related field, father and business owner, Jett Oxy brings you stories and advices  for educational and entertainment purposes. 


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