7 surprising BDSM ideas for LDR Couples (2022)

One of the best ways to keep your BDSM relationship going strong is to use technology to your advantage. But first, make sure you're both on the same page about what your expectations are for the relationship. Do you want to check in with each other every day? Once a week? Establishing a clear communication schedule will help prevent any misunderstandings or private life overstepping. 

Once you've got that sorted, there are lots of fun ways to stay connected and keep the spark alive. If you're both into text-based play, send each other teasing messages throughout the day to build anticipation. If you're more visual, consider using video chat to get up close and personal, even if it's just for a quick session. And don't forget about sexting! It's a great way to keep things hot when you can't be together in person.

If you're in a long distance relationship, you may find it difficult to maintain the same level of sexual intimacy that you enjoyed when you were together in person. However, there are ways to keep the fire burning, even from afar.

In a BDSM LDR, one way to maintain intimacy in a long distance relationship is through orgasm control. It is a great way to dominate a partner & build anticipation. If you know your partner is really horny but can't have sex right away, try edging them during a video chat session or over the phone. This will help them stay aroused while also prolonging their pleasure until they can finally relieve themselves. For a deeper dive into this practice, check out our guide on orgasm denial for beginners.

If the sub can maintain himself/herself for a certain amount of time, a reward or a punishment in case of failure is mandatory.

This power-play will require a lot of communication, so be sure to keep the lines of communication open with your partner. This way, you can ensure that everyone is comfortable and enjoying themselves.

•  Surprise your Sub asking them to send you a picture of 6 random objects they have laying around. Don’t tell them what for and assign a number to each item. Think of 6 different tasks and number them. Then, tell your Sub to roll a die twice, first time will give you the object and second time it will give you the task to perform with it. Examples of tasks could be: a few spanks, ass training, wearing something to go outside… You can get as creative as you want!
• Make your Sub go to their regular grocery store and ONLYbuy a big long zucchini and lube. Make them stop and chat if they see someone they know at the store, that will make them sweat for sure.
• Ask them to write a poem for you. You can punish them if the poem is very very bad.
• Be in charge of what your Sub wears: You can pick from a few options they present to you every morning/night before and have the final saying over their outfit. You can even add a little extra touch of your own, like a nice little ribbon tied around their balls (if they have them).
• Text them goofy tasksthroughout the day that you both will enjoy, like going to the toilet at work and writing their Dom’s name all over them under their clothes. You will both go on for the day with the image in your head and the thrilling feeling that nobody else knows.
• Make your Sub attend an online meeting while on a video call with you. You can do anything to make them nervous and arouse them while they have to focus on their meeting and are not allowed to stop looking at the video call.

In some of the BDSM relationships, bondage can play an important role to exert control or surrender to it. In a LDR, it can be problematic as the dom may not be there to tie up the sub.

However, The sub can use their expertise and skills to create bondage displays that show their dom the level of anticipation they are feeling.

The dom can also guide and instruct the sub on how to properly tie up via video calls or written instructions.

It's a great idea to start with some basic knot techniques using soft rope. For those interested in exploring self-bondage further, we have an introduction to self-bondage that covers safety tips and fun ideas.

Having a sub tied up and ready for whatever their dom wants gives them the perfect fantasy, and hearing about what the dom would do to their sub if they were restrained is exciting for the sub.

At oxy we provide pre-tied ropesfor an easy experience - even possible to bound yourself without the help of a rigger.

Ranging from a simple key safe box that can be locked and unlocked at distance, to more advance products such as the little devil collar.

Here is a short walkthrough Qiui range:

• Keypod: Digital key safe, timer function and app controlled. Hand over the key to your arousal, no physical presence needed. 
• Cellmate device:A male chastity cage that is synchronized to the sub’s phone and authority is given to the keyholder via an app. The sub won't be able to get it unlocked until allowed, the dom having full control on his genitals. 
• Little devil shock collar: a collar attached to the neck of the sub while the dom having the pleasure of position and punishment control. For example, for position control. The sub must stay in all four for a certain amount of time, if he breaks instructions, electric shocks will remind the ownership. Compatible for male and female subs. 
  

Combine role playing with creative writing and sexting, instead of saying “I will punish you”, say “I will slowly bend down and whisper to your ear “Have you been a good boy?”, then caress your back with a whip, while your arms are restrained, i will bring the rope down to your stinging flesh until i see you had enough”. 

By strategically using validation and interactive feedback, you can turn a simulated experience into a memorable experience for both of you. If you're interested in exploring different dynamics, you might want to check out our guide on DDlg relationships for a unique twist on power exchange.

Reward your partner and show him/her you are also present physically through a gift. Showing love and appreciation as well as setting up the scene. 

Sexy lingerie, dildos, chastity devices, collar, etc or even a printed photography of you wearing or doing something arousing. 

Oxy-shop.com slogan is “the gift of submission”. Feel free to browse the store and send the presents directly to your love on. As a dom, sending a chastity cage to your male sub is a strong symbol of ownership. As a sub, sending the gears needed for your next session will be an exciting anticipation builder for when you meet up. 

Though it is sometimes hard for long-distance partners, little reminders of affection are important to keep any relationship alive.