02-03-2023 - Written by Jett Oxy - Follow on medium 


BDSM Abbreviations and Acronyms


BDSM can be an intimidating topic for newcomers. It’s often seen as something that is only for experienced “kinksters,” but that couldn’t be further from the truth. BDSM is for anyone who wants to explore their kinky side, regardless of experience level. One of the things that can make BDSM seem inaccessible is the use of acronyms and abbreviations. These are often used by people who are experienced in the scene, and they can be confusing for those who are just starting out. In this blog post, we will demystify some of the most common BDSM abbreviations and acronyms. With this knowledge, you will be able to enter the world of BDSM with confidence and without feeling like an outsider.


WHAT IS BDSM?


BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), and Sadism and Masochism (SM). It is a sexual practice or lifestyle that involves the consensual exchange of power between two or more people. Urban Dictionary 


BDSM can be used as a form of sex therapy to help couples explore their sexual boundaries, communication, and intimacy. It can also be a fun and playful way to add excitement to your sex life.


There are many different activities that fall under the BDSM umbrella, such as spanking, bondage, role-playing, and sensory play. Each person involved in a BDSM relationship decides what activities they are interested in and what limits they want to set.


If you are interested in exploring BDSM with your partner, it is important to talk about your desires, expectations, and limits beforehand. You should also agree on a safe word that can be used if either of you feels uncomfortable at any point during the activity.


WHAT DO THE BDSM ABBREVIATIONS AND ACRONYMS MEAN?


  • Abrasion: Use of friction with a rough surface against the receptive partner. May be used to sensitize an area of skin.


  • Aftercare: The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events and their reactions to them, and slowly come back in touch with reality.


  • BDSM: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism: a combined acronym often used as a catchall for anything in the kink scene.
  • Bondage: Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner. Bondage typically refers to total restraint, but it can be limited to a particular body part, such as breast bondage.


  • Bottom: One who receives physical sensation from a top in a scene; the receiving partner.
BDSM ABBREVIATIONS
  • Breast bondage: The act of tying breasts so that they are either flattened against the chest or so that they bulge.

  • Breast torture: Torture of the breasts.

  • Breath control play: Restriction of oxygen to heighten sexual arousal and orgasm. Methods to achieve this include strangulation, suffocation, and smothering.

  • Butt plug: A sex toy that is designed to be inserted into the rectum for sexual pleasure. They come in a variety of sizes; some can vibrate. Sometimes used in Petplay, with a tail attached.

  • Chastity: A form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner. Often using a device that prevents contact and is controlled using a lock operated by the partner.

  • Cock and ball torture (CBT): Torture of the penis and testicles for sexual gratification.

  • Collared: Submissive or slave who is owned, usually (but certainly not exclusively) in a loving intimate relationship. A dominant may have multiple persons collared.

  • Contrapolar stimulation: A type of physical stimulation that incorporates a feeling of both pleasure and pain.

  • Consensual non-consent: Play where the parties agree to roleplay non-consensual activities, such as kidnapping or rape.

  • Consent: Mutual agreement to terms of action as in a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship.

  • D/s: Dominance/submission: play or relationships that involve a psychologically based power exchange.

  • DDLG: Daddy Dom/Little Girl, a subset of Dominance and submission. The name of this lifestyle refers to the nurturing relationship between parent/child where the dom takes on the role of a parent figure and the sub of a little girl.

  • Dom: A person who exercises control.

  • Dominant: A person who exercises control – contrast with submissive.

  • Domme: Woman who exercises control (see also Dominatrix). Often associated with a particular brand of traditional femininity; many younger female dominants prefer to use the nongendered terms dom/dominant.

  • Dom-space: The euphoric state of mind a dom may enter during a scene. This may include an intensified perception of the scene.

  • Dungeon: This usually refers to a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space.

  • Edgeplay: SM play that involves a chance of harm, either physically or emotionally. Because the definition of edgeplay is subjective to the specific players (i.e., what is risky for one person may not be as risky for another), there is not a universal list of what is included in edgeplay. Examples may include bloodplay and gunplay.

  • Enema play: Both women and men may experience sexual arousal from enemas finding them gratifying or sensual. Enemas are also used in sadomasochistic activities for erotic humiliation or physical discomfort.

  • Erotic humiliation: Humiliating someone during a sexual act. This act could be either verbal or physical for example, insulting a partner, making a partner display their private parts to a group of people, or even urinating or defecating on a partner. It can be a great source of pleasure for some people. There must be boundaries, safe words, and limits because without caution this play can destroy a relationship or a partner's self-esteem.

  • Erotic sexual denialKeeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity.

  • Erotic spanking: The act of spanking another person for the sexual arousal or gratification of either or both parties.

  • Fisting: Inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum.

  • Genitorture: Torture of the genitals.

  • Golden showers: Urinating on, or being urinated on by, another person.

  • Good pain and bad pain: Good pain and bad pain are terms used lightheartedly by BDSM practitioners, signifying that whilst BDSM may include an element of consensual pain, there is a purpose to it, and some pain is consented to and accepted whilst other pain is not. "Good pain" is, therefore, pain that is mutually agreed upon, desired, or permitted by the submissive partner to be experienced, and seen by them as enjoyment or good pain and bad pain refers to the perception of pain as pleasant vs. unpleasant. Sensations that non-practitioners imagine to be painful are instead perceived and described by BDSM practitioners as pleasurable or a good form of pain, in much the way that muscles after a workout at the gym may be sore, but in a good way. The transition of perception from "bad pain" to "good pain" may require a warm-up beforehand.

  • Hard limits: What someone absolutely will not do; non-negotiable (as opposed to "soft limits").

  • HogtieTying up a submissive's wrists and ankles, fastening them together behind their back using physical restraints such as rope or cuffs.

  • Impact play: Part of sensation play, dealing with impacts such as those from whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, etc.

  • Kinbaku: Means "tight binding." Kinbaku is a Japanese style of bondage or BDSM that involves tying up the bottom using simple yet visually intricate patterns. Also can be referred to as shibari.

  • Kinbaku-bi: Means "beauty of tight binding."

  • Kinky sex: Any sexual act that is generally considered to be unconventional.

  • Knife play: Slow, methodical sensation of the bottom with the edges and points of knives, usually without cutting the skin. Fear of the weapon plays a large part in the stimulus of the bottom.

  • Limits: What someone will not participate in (hard limits), or is hesitant to do so (soft limits).

  • Masochism: Act of receiving pleasure from acts involving the receipt or infliction of pain or humiliation.

  • Masochist: A person who enjoys pain, often sexually.
  • Master/slave: A consensual relationship in which one person receives control (the Master) when given it by another (the slave) for mutual benefit with a focus on service and obedience. The slave will often accept a collar from their Master to show that they are owned.


  • MDLB: Mommy Domme/Little Boy, the female-led version of DDLG, a subset of Dominance and submission. While this lifestyle may or may not involve ageplay, the name refers to the nurturing relationship of parent/child or teacher/student.


  • Mummification: Full body bondage that completely immobilizes the one wrapped up.


  • Munch: A group of people that practice BDSM meeting at a "vanilla" place in street-appropriate attire.


  • Needle play: Temporary piercings done with sterile needles of varying gauges, usually only for the duration of a scene.


  • Pain slut: A person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain.


  • PeggingA sexual practice in which a woman penetrates a man's anus with a strap-on dildo.


  • Play party: A BDSM event involving many people engaging in scenes. Generally, there is an area for drinking and socializing, an area for changing into more appropriate attire (such as fetishwear), and an area for "play" or sexually arousing activities.


  • ProDom: Male professional dominant (charges money).


  • ProDomme: Female professional dominant (charges money).


  • Pussy torture: Torture of the vulva or vagina for sexual gratification.


  • RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink, describes a philosophical view that is generally permissive of certain risky sexual behaviors, as long as the participants are fully aware of the risks.


  • Rope Bondage: Tying someone with ropes. An example is Japanese kinbaku.


  • Sadism: The act of receiving pleasure from inflicting pain.


  • Sadist: A person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually.


  • Safe, sane, and consensual (SSC): A credo used by some BDSM practitioners to determine the appropriateness of BDSM play which focuses on making sure that everything is based on safe activities, that all participants are of sufficiently sound mind to consent, and that all participants do consent.


  • Safeword: A codeword a sub can use to force BDSM activity to be decreased in intensity or be stopped outright.


  • Scat play: Feces play.


  • Scene: Refers to the setting and participation of a BDSM activity.


  • Sensation play: a class of activities meant to impart physical sensations upon a partner, as opposed to mental forms of erotic play such as power exchange or sexual roleplaying.

  • Service submission: A person who enjoys performing a service in a sexual or BDSM environment.


  • Slave: A submissive who consensually gives up total control of one or more aspects of their life to another person (their Master).


  • Soft limits: Something that someone is hesitant to do or is nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity, but it is preferable if it is negotiated into a scene at a trial stage or the beginner level.


  • Squick: The uncomfortable feeling someone may get when they hear or see certain kinky activities. It can also refer to someone who has no interest in the activity – it "squicks them out" – but who has no prejudice against the play or people who participate.


  • Sub-drop: A physical condition, often with cold- or flu-like symptoms, experienced by a submissive after an intense session of BDSM play. This can last for as long as a week and is best prevented by aftercare immediately after the session.


  • Submissive (or "sub" for short): A person that gives up control either all the time or for a specified period (not to be confused with "bottom" or "slave").


  • Subspace: A "natural high" that a sub (or bottom) experiences during a scene or when being controlled. The sub may feel disconnected from time, space, and/or their body, and may have limited ability to communicate. A Dom/top must take responsibility for the sub/bottom and be aware of their sub's well-being if they are in subspace. Long-term dominance and submission relationships without impact play may alternatively define subspace as a mental state where the submissive feels a deep emotional resonance or connection with the dom'.


  • Switch: Someone who likes being both dominant and submissive, either in one scene or on different occasions.


  • Tit torture: The act of causing deliberate physical pain to the breasts or nipples.


  • Top: The person "doing the action" (contrasted with bottom – the person receiving the action). Not to be confused with Dom who is the person who "puts the scene together". A male Dom could enjoy CBT and tell a sub what they are to do. In this case, the Top is the submissive (following the direction of the Dom) and the bottom is the Dom (receiving the attention of the top).


  • Topping from the bottom: When a bottom purports to be a submissive but tries to over-direct the top in a manner not fitting to the scene or relationship.


  • TPE (Total Power Exchange): A relationship where the dominant or owner has complete authority and influence over the submissive's life, making the majority of decisions.


  • Training: Either referring to a short period, or an ongoing effort of the dominant teaching the submissive how to behave for their preferences.


  • Vanilla: Someone who is not into BDSM. Alternatively, sexual behavior which does not encompass BDSM activity.


  • Wax play: The top drips hot wax on the bottom.


Find more acronyms here 


THE PROS AND CONS OF BDSM


BDSM is a sexual practice that involves the use of bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. While some people find this type of sexual activity to be exciting and fulfilling, others may find it to be daunting or even dangerous. Before engaging in BDSM activities, it is important to weigh the pros and cons to ensure that you are making the best decision for yourself.


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  The Pros:


  1. For many people, BDSM can be an incredibly exhilarating and satisfying sexual experience. The physical and mental stimulation of bondage, spanking, role-playing, and other forms of kink can lead to intense pleasure.


  1. BDSM can foster a greater sense of intimacy and trust between partners. Because it requires communication, negotiation, and mutual respect, participating in BDSM activities can help couples feel closer to one another.


  1. For some people, BDSM can provide a way to explore their deepest fantasies in a safe and consensual setting. By acting out these fantasies with a trusted partner, individuals can gain a better understanding of themselves sexually.


  The Cons:


  1. BDSM activities can sometimes be physically demanding or even painful. If not done carefully, these activities could lead to injuries.


  1. There is always the potential for emotional damage when participating in BDSM activities, even if both partners have agreed to everything ahead of time. One partner may feel neglected or humiliated if their needs are not being


HOW TO GET STARTED IN BDSM


If you're interested in exploring BDSM, there are a few things you should know before getting started. First, familiarize yourself with some of the most common BDSM abbreviations and acronyms. This will help you communicate with others who are into BDSM, and understand what they're talking about.


If you're curious about BDSM and want to give it a try, here are a few tips to get started:


  1. Do your research: Read books or articles, watch videos, or talk to friends who are into BDSM. There's a lot to learn about this topic, so it's important to educate yourself before getting started.


  1. Find a partner: If you don't have someone who's interested in exploring BDSM with you, look for an online community or local group where you

CONCLUSION


BDSM abbreviations and acronyms can be a lot to keep track of, but they're essential for communicating with your partner(s). We hope this guide has been helpful in deciphering some of the most common BDSM terms and that you feel more comfortable using them in your own conversations. If you have any questions or suggestions, please don't hesitate to reach out to us in the comments below.


Article Written by Jett Oxy for oxy-shop.com. 

Jett is the owner of Oxy-shop.com, a BDSM insider, a sex educator and writer. 

"I always try to explore the confines of the BDSM world and bring valuable insights for new comers joining our adventure" 

Phd in related field, father and business owner, Jett Oxy brings you stories and advices  for educational and entertainment purposes. 


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